Wednesday, August 9, 2023

The Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

Before I begin my review of The Meg 2, a wise Jeff Goldblum once said (at least in character as Ian Malcolm) that your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should. 

I really wish the current Hollywood would stop to think if they should. We are being bombarded with needless sequels that do more damage to the reputation of the films before them than help continue the story arcs, not to mention the mega franchises that try to do nothing but story arc over multiple phases or reiterations all to make a buck at our expense. 

I will further preface by saying that I actually enjoyed 2018’s The Meg. It had the exact amount of dramedy, cheesiness and suspension of disbelief to actually work as a popcorn entertainment akin to the old B monster movies of days gone. I rated it up there with Alexandre Aja’s even more B grade Pirahna 3D. Now, much like Pirahna, The Meg suffers from a sequel that tries to be bigger, scarier and more actiony, but instead is bloatier, lazier and downright stupider.
Jason Statham is back as Jonas Taylor, Meg attack survivor, deep sea diver and eco warrior. Together with most of the survivors of the first film they embark on a research mission of the trench from which the Megs broke free. Things rapidly take a turn however when they come across a mining operation whose attempt to remain in the shadows leaves the team fighting for their lives whilst also bursting a hole in that wonderful protective thermal layer that was keeping the now many prehistoric and giant creatures from interacting with nearby beach resorts. 

Bigger is not always better and whilst it is obvious that a movie like this is written around the action sequences, rather than focusing on actually telling a story, this film can’t make up its mind. 

We have dinosaurs, mega sharks and even a giant squid (or octopus I don’t know or care) I could be wrong, but it certainly felt like each of the films three writers drew a name out of a hat went away and just wrote their own thing and then had to figure out how to put it all together. 

The film also suffers from abysmal CGI, it is so bad that for most of the film you can’t actually see anything because the CG is in fact ocean spray making sure of it! 

There is no consistency to the action either. One minute Jonas has 3 Megs directly on his tail, the next he is in the water, has time to swim back to his jet ski (which of course won’t start) and then proceed to keep trying to start it with nary a fin in sight! 

I would hope this film will be the last of the trench dwelling creatures, but given its current box office performance I dare say some other creature will be breaking free of the trench in about 5 years time.


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